


Anatomy Sure Is Strange Vol. 2

by Werepirechick



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Anatomy, Drabble Collection, Family Fluff, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Xenobiology, dorky teenagers, i'm waiting for rottmnt to give me more to work with, idk if this'll stray into pg13 or higher territory, mutant turtle weirdness in general yall know the drill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-09-14 02:23:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16904289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: teenage mutant turtles have strange anatomy round two electric bugaloo.exact same content as myprevious imfamous fic, but now an rottmntverse version.





	1. snuggle bug

**Author's Note:**

> "i won't make another fic like Anatomy Sure Is Strange" i said. "i have too many things going on as it is" i said.
> 
> i'm a big fat liar to myself and all of you, so here the fuck we go again with werepire/spec's obsession with xeno anatomy. how often will this update??? who knows. i'm got dam busy and i barely got time to sleep as it is. consistency has never been my name except for consistent insanity.
> 
> warning for people about this first chapter: i read about the dietary needs of pet turtles and went "aight why not". if you have a thing about bugs, don't read this guy. wait until i write a diff drabble.

“I’m pretty sure your actual bed would be comfier to nap on, Leo.”

“My bed doesn’t come with a movie and snacks.”

Donnie rolls his eyes, resigned to the weight on top of him. Instead of kicking Leo off, he reaches down and scoops up a few waxworms from their plastic container next to the couch. They wriggle against the thin membrane of his vestigial webbing, enticing and annoying at the same time. Four end up in his mouth, and two end up in Leo’s.

Leo chews with his chin on Donnie’s plastron, irking Donnie further with the interruptive bouncing of his jaw. Donnie blows air into his brother’s face as payback, and Leo just shuts his clear secondary eyelids, brushing off the mild assault. Donnie scowls at Leo and his twin cheekily sticks out his tongue.

“I should make you go get us more,” Donnie gripes, turning his eyes back to the screen of his laptop. It’s propped open and playing _Repo: the Genetic Opera_ , only just getting through the first act. “I washed these guys for _me_ , not moochers.”

“Text Mike an’ ask him to bring some up,” Leo suggests lazily, picking his teeth with a claw. He gets whatever little bit of worm was stuck in there, and then proceeds to disturb Donnie _again_ by shifting his legs around.

Donnie lifts his eyes to the ceiling of the game room, breathing in and out and reminding himself he does, in fact, have some form of familial affection for the thieving asshole catnapping on him.

Typically it’s Mikey who gets the brunt of Leo’s sudden desire to cuddle someone, every few days or so. Mostly because Mikey is always up for a cuddle, so long as it’s not interrupting whatever he’s doing at the time. Raph is right after Mikey in the lineup of cuddle buddies, more than happy give a hug at any time of the night or day.

Donnie likes his personal space. He’s tolerant of brief physical contact, if only with his siblings and April. This, however? Leo coming in unannounced and crawling under Donnie’s blanket without invitation, making himself just _so_ at home and then stealing Donnie’s snacks?

…Donnie wishes he could say he hated it, but a cuddle is _possibly_ welcome. If only once in a blue moon. He just wants Leo to _stop moving around._

Drastic measure must be taken if Donnie wants to enjoy his movie in peace.

Donnie slides his hand underneath Leo’s chin, and starts scratching gently. His claws aren’t as long as Leo’s can get, but they’re still plenty long enough to do the job. Like he wanted them to, Leo’s double sets of eyelids flutter, and then settle into a narrow eyed haze of contentedness. Donnie keeps scratching, moving his hand to get the base of Leo’s skull and smiling smugly to himself as his twin goes limp, purring loudly and finally staying still.

Works every time.

Donnie sinks a little deeper into the couch cushions, nudging Leo with his knees so they can arrange their legs comfortably. Leo barely even mumbles a complaint about it, busy enjoying a thorough neck scratch. As the musical intensity in the current scene of the movie rises in tension, Donnie reaches to the container of waxworms again and plucks up a few to eat.

Leo doesn’t try to mooch at all, cheek smushed against the cartilage of Donnie’s chest and vibrating with purrs. The sound and sensation are comforting, calling up years and years of memories about experiencing this situation time and again. When they were little, when they were almost as old as they are now, after bad nights or good nights or any odd moment of just taking advantage of having another person nearby to snuggle up against when they needed to.

With the dramatic and somewhat terrifying adventures they’ve been having lately, a bit of cuddle time is… appreciated. Though if anyone asks, Donnie will deny it (and their other siblings will see right through that bluff).

Snacking on the squirming little grubs, Donnie quietly enjoys the peace of having Leo close and a good movie on. When he runs out of the waxworms, he licks his fingers and webbing clean, and puts both his hands on either side of Leo’s neck to scratch. Leo makes a shivery clicking noise and practically melts.

Donnie absently keeps scratching while he watches his movie, about as content with this arrangement as Leo is.


	2. toothy grin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Whoops,” he remarks. “Looks like someone forgot to keep up with his dental hygiene.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos to my peeps on discord who keep filling the xeno chatter channel with excellent inspo

“Ow.”

A mild noise of pain isn’t what Mikey should be hearing right now, so he looks away from his newly dished portion of the leftover pizza to his meal buddy.

Raph is holding his lip, looking annoyed. It takes a second to figure out what’s wrong- biting his tongue’s lure is something Raph sometimes does on accident- but with how his brother is holding his lip, it’s not that.

When Raph drops his hand a little, revealing the small cut across his bottom lip, Mikey puts it together.

“Whoops,” he remarks. “Looks like someone forgot to keep up with his dental hygiene.”

“Shut up,” Raph mutters, touching the cut gingerly and grimacing. His longest fang is bigger than normal, and definitely the culprit of the tiny injury. “I’ve been busy lately, okay?”

“Your teeth don’t care, bro.”

“Ugh, just- will ya help me trim ‘em down again? I just wanna eat an’ it’s harder when I do it myself.”

Mikey _was_ really enjoying his cold pizza- him and Raph snagging the leftovers before Donnie or Leo could- but he’s too sympathetic to his brother’s plight to refuse. “Don’t eat mine,” Mikey instructs as he leaves the kitchen. Raph gestures at his lip, a silent _duh_ statement.

Their bag of teeth care stuff is right where it should be in the bathroom, and Mikey has no trouble retrieving it and heading back to the kitchen. Raph is right where he should be, too, so Mikey hops up onto the counter to get the angle he’ll need for this. He settles in front of Raph, crossing his legs in a lotus position and opening the little toiletries bag.

“Open wide,” Mikey says, spinning a file in his hand. Raph opens his mouth, revealing the slightly overgrown rows of sharp teeth. Mikey tuts; because out of all of them, it’s Raph who _really_ needs to keep up with this kind of maintenance.

Donnie proclaimed years ago that their teeth weren’t really _teeth,_ but keratin instead of bone. They just look like teeth, albeit arranged along their jaws sort of like a beak would be. And like how their dad has to gnaw on stuff to keep his teeth the right length, the four of them have to file theirs down now and again. Human food makes up the bulk of their diet, and almost none of it is hard enough to wear down the edges of their ever growing teeth.

“Maybe you should start usin’ a mineral stone like dad,” Mikey comments, swapping files for a smaller one. The teeth in the back are always a bitch to get at, but thankfully them chewing their food wears them down mostly. It’s the front ones that tend to be real trouble if they’re left unattended, like Raph has left his.

“They taste nasty, though,” Raph gripes. He then holds still as Mikey dips the small metal file into his mouth, careful to not nick any gums or the cheek.

“Then you gotta keep up with trimmin’,” Mikey chides.

Raph can’t talk like this, so he settles for hissing lowly. Mikey hisses back and keeps working at his big brother’s teeth.

When he’s satisfied that he’s gotten the false teeth back down to an appropriate size, Mikey sits back and lets his brother feel out the differences. “Well? Anything too big still?”

“Nah, I think I’m good.” Raph coughs a little. “I need- some water, though.”

A swish and spit into the sink gets rid of keratin dust. Mikey reaches for his plate of cold pizza to resume his snack, deciding to just stay sitting on the counter while he eats. When Raph is done rinsing out his mouth, he comes back to lean against the counter beside Mikey.

This time, he bites into his pizza no problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at some point here i'll get my buddy rhi to draw her hc teeth for the boys again, bc that's part of what inspired me.


	3. pool party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cope with depression by writing swimmy times

“Y’all are so lucky.”

“How so?”

“Look at him. Lookit that comfy bastard. I haven’t been that comfy since before I got puberty induced anxiety.”

Leo opens one eye lazily, shuffling himself forwards on his stomach to look over the pool’s edge. The brother April is currently ranting about is Raph, who went down to the bottom of the deep end twenty minutes ago and hasn’t moved since. Probably drowsing in the warm temperature of the pool, like Leo is on the tiles.

“He does look comfy,” Leo agrees, closing his eyes again and putting his cheek back down on his fluffy towel, warmed by the roof's tiles.

April grumbles, kicking the water with her legs and splashing Leo’s face a little. “Humans got it backwards,” she says in a complaining tone. “We don’t wanna be on _top_ of the water bed… we wanna be _in_ the water bed.”

“Dunno if that one would work, April.”

“If we can go to the moon, we can find a way to sleep inside water beds.”

“You’re very fixated on this tonight,” Leo remarks.

April huffs. “I had a really long day at school. Socializing is _hard_ and I just wanna take a nap like Raph is.”

“So nap.”

“There’s this thing called _anxiety_ , remember? I’m too damn keyed up.”

“Hence why we’re havin’ a pool party. Take a dip, girl. Chill out.”

“I can’t. I keep having images of someone coming up here the second I put my head underwater. Also- I’m a little scared Donnie might shark week me.”

Leo opens his eyes again, peering over the edge a second time. While Raph has become a sleepy little huddle on one end of the rooftop pool, and Mikey is playing games with diving rings, there’s a sleek shape shooting back and forth in the ten meter pool. Donnie smacks onto the wall opposite to them, catching himself with his hands and feet, and Leo swears his twin briefly meets his eyes. Donnie’s got that _look_ he sometimes gets- the one that probably means you should take a few dozen steps back and keep your extremities to yourself.

Donnie tends to be fairly in control and good at pretending he’s not insane… up until they enter specific circumstances. Like swimming time.

“That’s a valid concern,” Leo admits, watching as Donnie goes back to zipping around. Their family genius turned underwater predator snags a ring from Mikey just as their youngest sibling is reaching for it. He moves so quick Mikey doesn’t even have time to make a muted shriek of offense.

April takes her legs out of the water as Donnie passes their side of the pool.

“How many coffees you let ‘im have today?” she asks, eyeing the living water hazard that is Leo’s brother.

“I caught him sleeping on the couch around five, so no more than like, three? Maybe.”

Donnie rebounds off of Raph’s shell, startling their big brother out of his nap and resulting in a brief and futile chase. No one can keep up with Donnie's swimming, least of all the person among them who mostly walks underwater. Raph, even through the distortion of the water’s surface, clearly has a grumpy expression as he slowly glides to the shallow end of the pool instead, his long spiky tail trailing behind him.

April shakes her head. “Yeah… I’m not gettin’ in there until he calms down.”

“You may have to wait a while,” Leo says.

“Ugh… whatever, I’ll just sleep in free period tomorrow.”

“Good. It’ll be practice for catnapping wherever you want.”

“You’re a bad influence, Leo.”

“You’re the older one here, I’m pretty sure you’re the one influencing us- lettin’ us trespass like this.”

April gives him a light smack to the shell. Leo just laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snappers don't really swim, but instead float n glide kinda and that's just. so fucking adorable. also if i could hold my breath as long as turtles can, i'd totally half-nap underwater, too. also also i'm writing the boys with tails. snapper tails are _good_.


	4. fishing lure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi everyone~
> 
> sorry for the lengthy pause, i've been thinking about this fic a lot but haven't had a moment to work on it. my other fic These Days is really kickin my ass rn and its terrible. have some pre-canon kid shenanigans tho, bc writing not-yet-teenagers is a lot of fun.

Raph bites his lip, nervously licking the backs of his teeth. His vermiform wiggles as he does, reminding him just why he feels so anxious right now.

“Raaaaph, don’t chicken out on us,” Leo goads, poking Raph’s side. “April brought all the stuff we need- and we’ve been planning this forever!”

April nods seriously. “Please don’t make me have dragged this all down here for nothing.”

Raph glances around himself, at all the hopeful faces of his little siblings and April, and then back down at the inflated kiddie pool their friend brought.

A gold fish swims lazy circles in it, unaware of its intended fate.

Raph makes a whine in the back of his throat, tension running through his whole body.

Donnie sighs, stepping around to be on the other side of the pool. “Okay, in case you forgot, I’ll go over this again,” he says imperiously. As imperiously as a nine year old can be, anyway. He takes of his protective backpack for a moment, pulling out a slightly cracked iPad from inside. “Here. It’s simple. You put your head underwater, and keep really still for a long time.” Donnie flicks a slideshow of pictures across the screen- showing Mikey’s digital doodles of what Raph should be doing. “Then, you wiggle your vermiform until the fish notices it. The last part should be obvious.”

Raph gulps at the drawing of him biting into the little fish. He _loves_ meat foods, can’t get enough of them when dad makes them for meals, but… the idea of luring a little fish into his mouth… one that’s still alive and so _cute…_

“C’mon, do it already!” Mikey says excitedly, giving Raph star filled eyes. Raph caves to the pressure and kneels down next to the pool. The tiles of their kitchen are hard under his knees, and the cold of them seeps into his scales almost immediately.

The breathless curiosity and enthusiasm of his family around him press against Raph’s spiny shell. He swallows thickly as he bends forwards, opening his mouth and revealing his sharp canines and the fleshy lure on his tongue.

The little goldfish skittishly swims the other side of the pool as his shadow falls over it. Raph’s stomach rebels and-

 _“I can’t!”_ he cries, yanking himself backwards and covering his face. His cheeks feel hot and blotchy, and snot is already starting to leak out of his nose as he blinks at thick tears.

Leo and Donnie make twin noises of disappointment. April sighs. “Don’t cry, Raph,” she says comfortingly, patting his shell with careful fingers. “If you really didn’t wanna, you should’a said from the start. And we’re sorry we tried to make you do it at all.”

“ _You’re_ sorry,” Leo mutters, huffing. Raph can’t see his brother’s face through his hands, but he knows Leo is wearing a disappointed expression.

“I can’t eat ‘im!” Raph exclaims, scrubbing at his cheeks. “He’s- he’s so _small,_ an’ cute, an’-”

A small weight worms its way into Raph’s lap, putting strong, lean arms around his neck in a hug. Mikey chirps in Raph’s ear, starting up a soothing purr against his chest. Raph drops his hands from his face and hugs his littlest brother, sniffling as he calms down.

“Sorry,” Mikey says, nuzzling against Raph’s neck. “Didn’ mean to make ya cry.”

“It’s okay,” Raph replies wetly. Another few deep breaths and he feels in control again, the swell of overwhelming emotions abating as he cuddles with Mikey.

“I guess… I’m sorry, too,” Leo says grudgingly, and Raph looks up to see an awkwardly apologetic gaze from his brother. “I just- it looked so _cool_ in the video Donnie showed us, an’ since you’re a snapper, too, I wanted to see it… you know. For real.”

Raph nods. Then he shakes his head. “It did look cool, but I don’t wanna eat the goldfish.”

Leo shrugs, nonverbal agreement to putting an end to this venture. Donnie meanwhile hums, staring at the goldfish still swimming its circles.

“Well, soft-shell turtles are _also_ carnivorous, so” Donnie says, kneeling down, “if Raph won’t do it, then I will.”

“ _NO!”_ Raph shouts, lurching forwards. Mikey squeaks as he’s squished and Donnie yelps as he’s shoved away from the pool. The water sloshes and the fish swims panicked zigzags.

“Why not?!” Donnie exclaims angrily.

“Because!”

“Because _why?”_

“Because I wanna keep it!”

“Wh- dad already said we couldn’t have pets!”

“Then April can take ‘im home!”

“I, uh, can’t? My dad doesn’t think I’m ready for a pet yet.”

“See, Raph? We should just do what we planned!”

Raph tries to reply with words, he really does, but they all jumble together in his head and come out as a shout of frustration. Donnie hisses, making a move towards the pool, and Raph stands up to grab his brother- taking a desperately clinging Mikey with him.

Splinter comes in at about that moment, just in time to see Raph holding two of his three little brothers, and Leo and April trying to diffuse the situation with little effect. Splinter narrows his eyes and says, “Just _what_ is going on in here, you five?”

They all freeze. Splinter keeps his annoyed gaze fixed on them, and Raph’s insides start to squirm. He’s supposed to be the big brother, second in age to only April. That means he’s supposed to make sure fights like this _don’t_ happen.

“Raph was gonna eat a fish,” Mikey says plainly, still squished into Raph’s hold along with Donnie.

Splinter blinks at them slowly. He looks down at the pool, which has spilled some of its liquid onto the kitchen floor. The goldfish has slowed its swimming, hovering in one spot.

“…Why?” Splinter asks.

“’cause Raph has a tongue thingy,” Leo explains.

“A what?”

“His vermiform,” Donnie clarifies.

Splinter squints. “A _what?”_

“This.” Raph sticks out his tongue and shows off the little lure on it. His dad’s brows rise in mild surprise.

“And you have to eat the fish,” Splinter says incredulously. “Because of that.”

Raph shuffles his feet, letting Donnie and Mikey drop back onto the floor. “Well… we saw a video of a normal snapping turtle eat one… soooo we thought…”

“But he chickened out,” Leo says. April smacks his arm and whispers for him to be quiet and stop picking on Raph.

“So _I_ was gonna eat it,” Donnie says, crossing his arms.

Splinter gives them all a long, long look. He seems tired as he runs a hand over his greying hair. “Of course you were. Le- Mi- _red child,”_ Splinter says, exasperated at trying to get the right name.

“Raphael,” Raph supplies.

“Yes, you. Why were you holding your brothers off the ground?”

“I didn’ want Donnie ta eat the fish. It’s- he doesn’t deserve that kinda… you know.”

“Fate?” April offers.

“Yeah, that.”

Splinter sighs, pinching the bridge between his eyes. “And purple, _why_ did you feel the need to eat the fish despite red saying no?”

“Because that’s what we _planned_ to do,” Donnie says petulantly. “It was supposed to be an experiment of how much of our base selves are unchanged, despite mutation. I made _notes_ and was gonna video it and…”

Donnie trails off, fidgeting as he scowls. Raph feels bad that he’s upset Donnie, but he can’t let the little fish get eaten. Even though Donnie is probably going to pout and hold this against him for days, maybe _weeks._

“Alright,” says their dad. Splinter makes sure to look all of them in the eye. “The fish is not going to be eaten- and no whining about it, purple, blue! You do not know what it might be carrying. Pet stores are filled with disease and dirt! You are going to put it back in a proper fishbowl and give it to me, and then you are going to clean up this mess. Understand?”

They all reply with a chorus of “yes, dad” and “yeah, pops,” and “sure, Mr. Splinter”.

Splinter nods firmly and then goes to the fridge, digging around for his snacks. Raph gets one more hug from Mikey before they start cleaning up the unfinished experiment.

The fish ends up in a tank in their dad’s room. Donnie expresses jealous displeasure that _dad_ can have pets, but _they_ can’t. Raph doesn’t particularly mind, honestly. While he’d love to have a pet of his own, he’s got enough on his plate taking care of his little brothers. Especially the middle two, since shortly after the fish incident, Donnie and Leo come up with a plan to test Donnie’s camouflaging abilities in a Central Park pond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else ever see raw meat and just. you know. wanna bite it? or is that just me.

**Author's Note:**

> [i have a discord](https://discord.gg/PBqStWv) you can talk to me about xeno hcs in, and [i'm on tumblr...](https://onthespectrumwriting.tumblr.com/). for now. (tumblr pls get your shit together, i am but a xeno enthusiast,,)


End file.
